Reaching a balance is a learning process. Here are some suggestions to help you find and keep your balance.
1. Build healthy self-esteem: Self-esteem is more than just seeing your good qualities. It is being able to see all your abilities and weaknesses together, accepting them, and doing your best with what you have.
2. Build confidence: Take a good look at your good points. What do you do best? How would a friend describe you? Now, look at your weak points. What do you have difficulty doing? What things make you feel frustrated? Remember that all of us have our positive and negative sides. We let our strengths shine, and we build on our weak points to help us mature and grow.
3. Receive as well as give: Many of us confuse having a realistic view of our good points with conceit. We have trouble accepting kindness from others. We often shrug off a compliment with a, “Yes, but…” and put ourselves down. The next time someone compliments you, say, “Thank you! I’m glad you think so.” Then think about other compliments you have had, and how good they made you feel.
4. Make friends who count: Friends help you understand that you are not alone. They help you by sharing your “ups” and “downs”, and you in turn help them.
5. Figure out your priorities: Our challenge is to know the difference between our real needs and our “wants”, and to prioritise what matters most.